When a person subscribes to this service, he or she enters his or her zip code, and the alerts are tailored to the person's locale. I think the radius should be reduced slightly, though, because unless dogs learn to take the ferry, figure out how to hail a cab, or memorize the NY subway system, none of these dogs are making it to Manhattan. The typical lost dog is from Staten Island or New Jersey, 6 months to 2 years, and an unneutered male. Gee... wonder why he took off... maybe you should look down by the river where he's sowing his oats.
Then there are the posters the well-meaning person is supposed to print and tape up all over the neighborhood, presumably only if said person is nearby, but there are almost certainly some overzealous helpers out there who cover every telephone pole in their neighborhood with poster after poster. Anyway, these posters are hilarious for a number of reasons:
1. The text. Owners are apparently worried that they will be judged by the well-meaning email recipients, so they invariably start their text with how the dog escaped. Generally, it goes something like, "Maxie excaped thru the front door when we weren't looking," or "Rocko wasn't in his bed like usual," or "Went for a walk with her german sheppard and the puppy did not come back with the german sheppard" (lousy good for nothing Shepherd) or my personal favorite, "Scooter was last seen chasing a school bus." This is not useful information. Unless Scooter is still chasing the school bus when the well-meaning email recipient spots him, I'm pretty sure the dog's mode of escape is irrelevant.
2. The photo. The photo has long been a source of amusement for the three of us. We're perpetually shocked by the lack of photos people take of their animals, especially since I am in every single photo that's taken around here (seriously. I'm in thousands. it kind of creeps me out.). Here are a couple of examples. The photos are hyperlinked, so click them to see the original posters - they're worth it:
Check out this poor guy's unfortunate name. Pat said it's like naming your kid "Coke Addict."
This little bundle of fur lives in "Station Island," wherever that is. Word of advice: learn to spell the place you live. It's handy.
Don't let the innocent face fool you. He's 18 months old & unneutered... he's running on pure hormones.
I might have dug a "whole" in the ground, too.
and lest you think this is just for dogs:
Which brings us to the inspiration for this posting. This particular poster is potentially my favorite thing that has ever existed (it's even better than rawhide, which is second only because it always makes me vomit). There are a LOT of things wrong with this poster, but let's start from the beginning. Note that the breed of dog is listed as a Border Terrier. The dog in the photo is, in fact, a Boston Terrier.
This unfortunate cockadoodle's name is 2420, but lucky for him they call him "Baci" instead. WHAT?
and lest you think this is just for dogs:
Moving on, a quick web search for "Boston Terrier" yields the following result: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:BostonTerrierBrindleStand_w.jpg
Not only did this person not use an actual picture of their dog, but they didn't even Google the right breed! I'm thinking they don't actually want the dog back. They may have even had it whacked, like poor Buddy, who was "hit by a car" pretty much the day after Bill and Hill left the White House* and no longer needed his connecting-with-the-common-man services. They probably replaced him with some super expensive non-common-man-connecting-dog like a Dandy Dinmont. Have you seen these things?
The same one (owned by Dr. Bill Cosby) always wins the dog show because it's pretty much the only one left in the world. Sort of like Sarah Palin winning that Alaskan beauty pageant - I think Triumph the Insult Comic Dog said it best when he quipped "Third place went to a caribou."
*Wow. I have GOT to get over my fascination with White House dogs. What is with that? No more posts that reference Dogs of State until Sasha and Malia get their puppy.
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